His son never wanted Schwartzman to see his lyrics, which paint a fairly clear picture of his internal struggles.
His parents’ divorce and financial problems in the family also played a role. Schwartzman stressed his son was in therapy and receiving treatment.īen’s mental health issues were exacerbated, Schwartzman said, when he began experimenting with marijuana while also on medication for his depression. By the time puberty hit, he was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. He didn’t make this choice in a sound state of mind.Īs a boy, Ben developed an involuntary tic around 4 or 5 years old. Someone who doesn’t have mental illness does not move towards death. “Yes, it’s someone’s choice ultimately, but the illness is really making it. It is included on Ben’s album.ĭolan’s perspective has changed in the years since. One of Dolan’s early songs, “Your Choice,” written and recorded within a year of Ben’s death, delves into the heartbreak and anger she felt at the time. “Just knowing that my brother’s music is still thriving and reaching people - keeping his memory and spirit alive in the world - it’s a really healing thing to have,” Dolan said. They performed “One Sweet Love” by Sara Bareilles. One of her first public performances was alongside Ben at a coffee shop just three days before his death. Hayley Schwartzman, now 30-year-old Hayley Dolan, is living in Portland, where she performs solo and in bands on the weekends. It’s an upbeat tempo, but the lyrics are bleak. Ben used to call his father “Big Man,” though the song seems to also refer to God.
One of the songs on his album, “Big Man,” was written in part to placate his father’s push for something more upbeat, Schwartzman remembers. “I would say to Ben, you’ve got to lighten it up for your audience because everything is too heavy for them,” Schwartzman said. His cover song choices were also steeped in melancholy - “Creep” by Radiohead, The Beatles’ “Yesterday.”
There is a paradoxical sweetness to his voice, as he sings out lyrics that are anything but sweet. The Blue Room Café in Highland was a favorite spot.Īs such, his music has a distinct coffee shop/acoustic singer-songwriter vibe. Uncle Tommy came through, and by 15 or 16, Ben was playing open mics at coffee shops. “I just saw a note in here from his Uncle Tommy, who says at age 12, Ben asked him to teach him some chords on his guitar,” Schwartzman said. When asked about Ben’s interest in music, his father reaches back into the bag. To listen to my son’s music without crying? That’s a win.”Īccording to his family, Ben Schwartzman and his younger sister, Hayley, had happy childhoods in northwest Indiana.īen graduated from Lake Central High School in 2007 and attended what is now Purdue University Northwest. “If nothing else, that just allows me to feel good. For 14 years, I’d be brokenhearted,” Schwartzman said, his voice breaking up as he pushes the words out. “Now when I hear his music, I feel optimistic. He’s hoping for a Grammy, Schwartzman is not ashamed to say, but he’ll settle for the feelings Ben’s newly released songs give him as he hums along in his car. But he also hopes Ben’s story will spread awareness about mental health and suicide prevention.Īll proceeds from the release will go to Centerstone, a nonprofit mental health provider. Schwartzman hopes people enjoy the music. 12, “Falling Star” was released in several-song chunks through streaming services and a new website. 15, the anniversary of Ben’s death, and ending Nov. After Ben died, his father made it a personal mission to share this music - some of the most tangible proof that Ben was here.Īfter 14 years of cold calls and failed celebrity run-ins help from a few of his fellow Hoosiers have given Schwartzman his chance.īeginning on Oct.